Friday, March 23, 2007

processing

I'm not usually a blogaholic like this, but I'm trying to process all the thoughts and emotions that are churning through my brain, my heart, and my stomach.

I wish I could be a robot sometimes. Not have feelings. Just functioning, unattached.

But I'm not. I cry. I get angry. I get scared.

I feel like I'm designed to always let go of the good thing in search of something different or more, that isn't really better after all. I just hope I don't do that this weekend, before I give whatever this is the chance to stretch its legs.

Although there's danger in that. It could get legs, and then I'm moving away from the very place and direction I want to/should be going.

I know I'm overthinking everything. Could the voices in my head be quiet for a few minutes, hours, days? Maybe then I could get some peace.

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