vacant

I'm in a weird place. I usually am really excited because there's something on the horizon, or I'm really sad because I've been disappointed by myself or someone else. But today, I just don't feel anything. I'm not happy. I'm not sad. I just am. I am looking 30 square in the eye and while I'm not excited about it, what can I really do? The day is going to come whether I want it to or not, so I can either wallow and whine and complain, or I can accept it, treat it like any other day of the week, and let it go.

I guess part of me wants that day to matter to someone. Maybe part of me just wants to matter to someone.