crossroads

Finally, after weeks and months of questioning myself and worrying about what I should do, if I was making the right decision, etc., I have finally reached a crossroads. You know, one of those places where you have to make a decision, not only in order to move forward, but also to stay alive.

For the past several months I have sat on my hands and stapled my lips shut, always in hopes that things would resolve themselves and relationships would progress. But that just hasn't happened, and it isn't likely to. Yesterday I learned volumes about one of the people in my circle. I learned that there's no reason to keep watching and waiting. Things aren't going to change, unless I change them. And when they do change, it's not going to be the progress I was hoping for. Instead, it will be a release, letting go of a dream that is long-since dead.

Am I okay with this? Obviously I would love for the outcome to be positive, that the relationship would be where it should be. But I am ready to face the reality that it's time to call the time of death on things. I know there will be lots of pieces of me and my heart that are left over, but God can deal with those. For now, I need to take action.

Wish me luck.