update

I was wrong.

I was just reading a previous post where I was pro/con-ing two people in my life. I said "I seriously doubt this person could ever share my vision for the future."

I think I spoke too soon.

Stay tuned.

hope discovered?

I didn't realize until today that it's been almost a month since I put some thoughts on here. I know I said it had been crazy before, but this time I mean it.

I am still recovering from my trip to Seattle last week. It was amazing to see a completely new part of the country, feel the chilly Pacific Ocean comb through my fingers, and be out of the forest of work and life. It brought clarity, which I know is ironic considering it's Seattle, where everyone says it rains ALL the time (news flash: it doesn't).

But it brought clarity nonetheless. I was reminded again that all the emotional stuff I've had to deal with over the past 8 months or so is finally resolved. And I am free to move forward, with my head held high, confident that there are people in my life who are in my corner, cheering me on. I can see the significance that I've always had, but have never allowed myself to see. Thanks to some pretty special people, led by one in particular.

So hopefully that means that the tone of this blog will take on that for which it was originally intended. Longing. Not for someone's attention, or relief from the ache of the past. But a joyous hope for heaven, surrounded by friends and family who echo the chorus. This is my goal.

holy week

It's Friday on the holiest week of the year. As Christians, we are supposed to take this day to stop and reflect on where Jesus was on a Friday two millenia ago.

A couple of weeks ago in church the speaker asked some people to stand in the aisle and slowly raise their arms to their shoulders on either side. As I watched those people take that action, I was overwhelmed at the visual picture of what my Savior must have looked like hanging from those two pieces of wood. He was exposed, out there for everyone to see. In shame. In agony. For stuff that I've done.

When I stop to think about the shame, pain, and agony that I have experienced in my life, it is merely a shadow in comparison to what He must have borne on that day.

I was trying to think about what it must have been like for the people on that Friday when everything was completely black. Were they scared? Confused? Sad? What a clear picture of the grief that God must have felt knowing that He had let His only Son take my place.

I know what it's like to feel like your world is black. But that must have been something else.

Thank goodness I know how the story ends. I can't wait for Sunday.